A Short List of Old Boyfriends Who Would Make Worse Husbands Than the One I Married

I really dated some doozies in my formative years. The picture is not actually any of the boys I went out with, but a close approximation. Even though my husband has many flaws (like some very weird addictions and extreme cheapness), at least he's gainfully employed. Here is a list of just a few of the men I am glad I never married:

1. Ron K., who informed me he slept with his stepmother while we were visiting her in her double-wide trailer in southern Indiana. I also met him at an under-21 club when I was 17 and he was decidedly over 21. Should've been my first clue...

2. Cory P., whose main goal in life was being a manager of a record store.

3. Ed S., who failed to mention he was a Chief Warlock of a witch coven and also a Satan worshipper - I found out from a jealous fellow wiccan who told me at a party.

4. Jon H., the soulful jazz guitarist, who recently spent several years in the Barnum and Bailey Circus.

5. Scott F., who was cool because he had a pilot's license and flew me around, but was boring as dead leaves when on the ground.

6. Joe (can't remember his last initial) who was just plain sleazy.

7. Paul (also can't remember the last initial), who was always yelling at me for using napkins and other throw-away items, and for showering daily. He was green before it was trendy and not very nice about it.

I am sure there are more that I have thankfully forgotten. When things are bad, I will just think about how it could be worse. Much, much worse.