OK, I shamelessly stole this picture from my friend Lauren F., who posted it on Facebook earlier today. This is something one should not do in order to remain hygenic and clean.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Contraband
This is certainly not the most attractive picture of my beautiful daughter - and she has lost her 2 front teeth naturally, they are not black or rotten as they appear here.
She is consuming what is fast becoming a controlled substance around here. A peanut butter sandwich. Yes, I had the nerve to sneak contraband peanut butter to the beach this weekend and allow my children to eat it. In public. I kept looking around nervously for moms on high alert for the smell who would come over and yell at me (which has happened).
I realize that some children cannot have peanut products, but mine can. I need to vent about these moms who accost my children with wipes at the playground (this has also happened), who lecture me on how some kids can't eat it, why it is not fair to let their child see peanut butter if he/she cannot have it, etc.
Well, let me tell you that I had to cash in our change jar this week in order to feed my kids. It came out to about $30 for a week of groceries for three growing children and one adult (the despot is away). The most nutritious bang for my buck was a huge bag of apples, bananas, grapes at 99 cents a pound, some loaves of bread and peanut butter. So please don't judge. I am not trying to kill your child with peanut fumes; I am trying to keep my kids healthy on a shoestring budget.
Please look the other way when I open our pathetic lunch sack and out come the PB & J on honey wheat sandwiches. It's the best I can do.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Some Good Words I Need to Work into Everyday Conversation
As my mental faculties are declining, due to childbirth and a couple of years of breastfeeding (see Momnesia post for explanation of this disorder), I am making a list of excellent words that should be used with regularity. It's up to you to figure out the meanings.
muliebritous
histrionics
festooned
perverse (the peevish, cranky meaning)
anathema
ennui
bellicose
nonplussed
If you are so inclined, please add some more. It's my goal to single-handedly bring back some civility to the English language...only second to my goal of being so thin people worry about me.
muliebritous
histrionics
festooned
perverse (the peevish, cranky meaning)
anathema
ennui
bellicose
nonplussed
If you are so inclined, please add some more. It's my goal to single-handedly bring back some civility to the English language...only second to my goal of being so thin people worry about me.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Snarky Amy
OK, Amy the Snarky Commenter is back - this time to criticize my spelling skills (I didn't see the error - I had spelled the word the same way as she put in her correction). She also said that she should know how the word was spelled, as she was "Spelling Bowl captin." Hmmmmm.
Since I have ultimate power to accept/reject comments, let me make it clear that only nice people who state their points clearly and without a hint of bitchiness will be allowed to post. This does not mean you have to agree with me, just leave the mean spirit out of it. Either that, or identify yourself so I know exactly who you are. You are clearly not any of my friends named Amy, who are all nothing but goodness and light.
Snarky Amy clearly doesn't know me at all, or she would be aware that much of what I write is...ready now? A joke. I am a fan of sarcasm and have been known to be cynical, and all mean-ish posts come down after a few days, once I am over it. So, Snarky Amy, please try again.
Since I have ultimate power to accept/reject comments, let me make it clear that only nice people who state their points clearly and without a hint of bitchiness will be allowed to post. This does not mean you have to agree with me, just leave the mean spirit out of it. Either that, or identify yourself so I know exactly who you are. You are clearly not any of my friends named Amy, who are all nothing but goodness and light.
Snarky Amy clearly doesn't know me at all, or she would be aware that much of what I write is...ready now? A joke. I am a fan of sarcasm and have been known to be cynical, and all mean-ish posts come down after a few days, once I am over it. So, Snarky Amy, please try again.
Monday, April 20, 2009
6 Things I Hope to Accomplish
It's school vacation week, but I still have many things to do. I am mainly focusing on finding ways to combat my undiagnosed but undeniably present ADD and possible schizoid tendencies, along with the following:
1. To really and truly live by my new credo, which was on someone's signature line but I am stealing: Be Kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
2. I need to detox from the internet. It sucks me in like a vortex of terror, especially a certain social networking site. I am addicted to the quizzes and reached a new low yesterday when I took one called, "How Will You Handle the Zombie Apocolypse" instead of starting dinner for my starving kids.
3. Plan fun and nearly free things to keep the children busy. Sadly, it's supposed to rain for a couple of days, thwarting a planned trip to Wolf Hollow. My grand plan is to have them help me clean by putting large piles of our copious art supplies in the middle of the floor with the instructions to "make something." This will help my organization skills by getting rid of stuff, and keep the kids busy so I can put away laundry.
4. Finish reading "The Shack." I keep picking it up at 10:30 pm and fall asleep after just a couple of minutes.
5. Find out what will be on Kindergarten screening so I can drill my boys on what to expect so the screeners don't secretly think that they are retarded from not going to preschool this year.
6. To make the most of the Despot's absence and enjoy the relaxing atmosphere in our house.
1. To really and truly live by my new credo, which was on someone's signature line but I am stealing: Be Kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
2. I need to detox from the internet. It sucks me in like a vortex of terror, especially a certain social networking site. I am addicted to the quizzes and reached a new low yesterday when I took one called, "How Will You Handle the Zombie Apocolypse" instead of starting dinner for my starving kids.
3. Plan fun and nearly free things to keep the children busy. Sadly, it's supposed to rain for a couple of days, thwarting a planned trip to Wolf Hollow. My grand plan is to have them help me clean by putting large piles of our copious art supplies in the middle of the floor with the instructions to "make something." This will help my organization skills by getting rid of stuff, and keep the kids busy so I can put away laundry.
4. Finish reading "The Shack." I keep picking it up at 10:30 pm and fall asleep after just a couple of minutes.
5. Find out what will be on Kindergarten screening so I can drill my boys on what to expect so the screeners don't secretly think that they are retarded from not going to preschool this year.
6. To make the most of the Despot's absence and enjoy the relaxing atmosphere in our house.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Should We Move to the Country?
I think my children are trying to tell me something. Last night, they built a beaver dam on our sidewalk and made a makeshift vine on our large tree. The boys want to live in one of the trees in the back yard, and spend countless hours trying to reach the top of it. Mind you, we live in the middle of a small city - our lot is large at 1/5 of an acre. Here is photographic evidence of my poor wanna-be country kids who clearly want to escape. I can't say I blame them. My fantasies lately include at least 5 acres and a pond....
Latest Column
I write a monthly parenting column, called Free-Range Parenting, for our illustrious local paper, the Newburyport Daily News. Here is the one that ran today:
After nearly four months of daily battles to get my formerly nearly-perfect daughter to complete her math lessons and to agree to go anywhere with a sunny disposition, I have made the heart-wrenching decision to put her into (gasp) Public School.
This goes so against my parenting philosophy that I spend much time questioning if I am a hypocrite, or a smart mom who has learned when to give up when something clearly isn’t working any more. My dear girl had decided that, in line of several families we know, that she should not have to do anything she didn’t want to do.
For a couple of weeks, I tried to be a pagan earth-goddess unschooler (which seems to be the prevailing “thing” here in the northeast), trying out the philosophy I was being drilled on that adults should not put any boundaries on children or force them to do anything but their heart’s desire. It did not go well. In our house, it just made the chaos even more pronounced. This is the right path for some, but I kept thinking about how life is not about doing only what one wants to do. It’s about personal responsibility, learning and respecting social and moral boundaries.
I began my quest for the “right” school around February vacation, when an hour of schoolwork was taking 5 hours, complete with whining, wailing and gnashing of teeth. After several fainting spells over the cost of a decent private education, I gritted my teeth and, with one eye closed just in case, started researching the public schools around here.
Newbury Elementary kept coming back to me as an option, especially since another homeschooling family we are friendly with has 2 children there and are happy, so I called for more information. It particularly appealed to me because my daughter is working at least 2 years above grade level in math, and her reading is off the charts. Newbury has a special program just for gifted kids that just doesn’t exist in any other schools in the area.
The wonderful principal, Mrs. Sylvia Jordan, called me at home one evening during her off hours and spent a good deal of time listening to my plight and explaining everything from curriculum to after school enrichment in detail. We were on the phone for over an hour, and I was invited to visit the school after deciding to go ahead and “choice” my daughter into the second grade there.
Wow! This school not only has an auditorium and a science lab, but the woman who is now my daughter’s teacher, Miss Grace Ruhp, welcomed my baby into her class with a smile and open arms. She did not roll her eyes, like other people in other schools, when I explained to her about my girl’s academic needs. Instead, she understood and assured me that her needs would be met. I saw in her eyes that I could trust her, that she was everything like her name.
The first day I left my daughter was horrible – for me. She got into the car at pick-up time nearly exploding with all the great things she had done that day. With two new best friends, an invitation to join the Ghost Club, a science experiment and pizza lunch, it seemed like she would fit in just fine.
But can one still be a free-range parent and send her children to school? This is something I am still trying to reconcile. I have my boys at home, since they just turned 5. But their school choice applications are in to Newbury Elementary as well. If all goes as planned, they will be there half days in the fall. I have 5 months with them, to get them dirty and allow them to be little boys. My daughter remains free to be herself and her passions for dance, violin and horseback riding will be accommodated. But for now, having someone else step in as her teacher for awhile is making our time together so much more pleasant.
I will always wonder if formal schooling was the right decision. So far, after one 3 ½ day week, it seems workable. My daughter misses playing with her brothers, but enjoys the variety of school and the new friends. I tell myself that we can always go back if it doesn’t end up being the best option. Can you go back, though? It’s the eternal question.
After nearly four months of daily battles to get my formerly nearly-perfect daughter to complete her math lessons and to agree to go anywhere with a sunny disposition, I have made the heart-wrenching decision to put her into (gasp) Public School.
This goes so against my parenting philosophy that I spend much time questioning if I am a hypocrite, or a smart mom who has learned when to give up when something clearly isn’t working any more. My dear girl had decided that, in line of several families we know, that she should not have to do anything she didn’t want to do.
For a couple of weeks, I tried to be a pagan earth-goddess unschooler (which seems to be the prevailing “thing” here in the northeast), trying out the philosophy I was being drilled on that adults should not put any boundaries on children or force them to do anything but their heart’s desire. It did not go well. In our house, it just made the chaos even more pronounced. This is the right path for some, but I kept thinking about how life is not about doing only what one wants to do. It’s about personal responsibility, learning and respecting social and moral boundaries.
I began my quest for the “right” school around February vacation, when an hour of schoolwork was taking 5 hours, complete with whining, wailing and gnashing of teeth. After several fainting spells over the cost of a decent private education, I gritted my teeth and, with one eye closed just in case, started researching the public schools around here.
Newbury Elementary kept coming back to me as an option, especially since another homeschooling family we are friendly with has 2 children there and are happy, so I called for more information. It particularly appealed to me because my daughter is working at least 2 years above grade level in math, and her reading is off the charts. Newbury has a special program just for gifted kids that just doesn’t exist in any other schools in the area.
The wonderful principal, Mrs. Sylvia Jordan, called me at home one evening during her off hours and spent a good deal of time listening to my plight and explaining everything from curriculum to after school enrichment in detail. We were on the phone for over an hour, and I was invited to visit the school after deciding to go ahead and “choice” my daughter into the second grade there.
Wow! This school not only has an auditorium and a science lab, but the woman who is now my daughter’s teacher, Miss Grace Ruhp, welcomed my baby into her class with a smile and open arms. She did not roll her eyes, like other people in other schools, when I explained to her about my girl’s academic needs. Instead, she understood and assured me that her needs would be met. I saw in her eyes that I could trust her, that she was everything like her name.
The first day I left my daughter was horrible – for me. She got into the car at pick-up time nearly exploding with all the great things she had done that day. With two new best friends, an invitation to join the Ghost Club, a science experiment and pizza lunch, it seemed like she would fit in just fine.
But can one still be a free-range parent and send her children to school? This is something I am still trying to reconcile. I have my boys at home, since they just turned 5. But their school choice applications are in to Newbury Elementary as well. If all goes as planned, they will be there half days in the fall. I have 5 months with them, to get them dirty and allow them to be little boys. My daughter remains free to be herself and her passions for dance, violin and horseback riding will be accommodated. But for now, having someone else step in as her teacher for awhile is making our time together so much more pleasant.
I will always wonder if formal schooling was the right decision. So far, after one 3 ½ day week, it seems workable. My daughter misses playing with her brothers, but enjoys the variety of school and the new friends. I tell myself that we can always go back if it doesn’t end up being the best option. Can you go back, though? It’s the eternal question.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Old Hobbies
Before I had children, I loved quilting. I made Anna a fun quilt with a dinosaur theme (she never was a princess girl), and I started these two when pregnant with the boys. I worked until I was so huge I could barely reach my machine. Since I was put on strict hospitalized bedrest with them from weeks 32-25 of pregnancy, and they came at 36 weeks, I was unable to finish the binding. I have pulled them out, and plan to finish them up. The dragon/wizard one is my favorite! You can vote below, if you like, on yours. I set up the pictures so you can see the backing as well.
I am hopeful that since the kids are getting older, I can return to some of the hobbies I enjoyed in days of yore. Perhaps a quilt of their baby clothes or something is in the works! It's quite a soothing activity.
Fun Run for Pan Mass Challenge
Lovely Anna smiling after running her race!
Last weekend, we (meaning the kids) did a 1/4 mile fun run to raise money in support of a friend who is doing the Pan Mass Challenge this year. She is my hero - with 2 small children, she is able to train for this event and plan exciting fundraisers!
Ryan ended up not running because the wind was causing him to have trouble breathing due to his cold/asthma, and Anna and Jake were at the end of the pack. They are their mother's children! The persevered and made the whole 1/4 mile lap. I was exceedingly proud of them.
The kids had a blast! There was face painting, as evidenced above, and the kids wore themselves out running around the track. And they learned a little about giving money to help people who are sick. In all, a wonderful experience for us all.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Things I Have Learned from Other Great Moms
My friends are useful founts of information. I thought I'd share some of the very important things they have shared with me:
1. If you fill plastic Easter eggs with liquid soap, they leak. (from Beth)
2. It is possible for a child to become emotionally attached to a can of sardines. (from Amy)
3. Everybody is putting up with something. (from my own mom)
4. Your child will only decide to affect the "no bangs" look by cutting off her bangs on the day before school pictures. (from Lauren)
5. It's wise to save the Percocet they give you after your c-section to take before breastfeeding, as that can hurt way worse than the incision. (from Margaret)
6. Sometimes, the autistic child is easier to deal with - the other one is too unpredictable. (from Jean)
7. It's probable that you have spent the whole day cleaning, doing laundry, cooking and running errands, yet your house is filthy, the hamper's full, everyone's hungry and the to-do list is a mile long. (from my own self)
That's about it for now. Please feel free to add your own gems! And have a relaxing night....
1. If you fill plastic Easter eggs with liquid soap, they leak. (from Beth)
2. It is possible for a child to become emotionally attached to a can of sardines. (from Amy)
3. Everybody is putting up with something. (from my own mom)
4. Your child will only decide to affect the "no bangs" look by cutting off her bangs on the day before school pictures. (from Lauren)
5. It's wise to save the Percocet they give you after your c-section to take before breastfeeding, as that can hurt way worse than the incision. (from Margaret)
6. Sometimes, the autistic child is easier to deal with - the other one is too unpredictable. (from Jean)
7. It's probable that you have spent the whole day cleaning, doing laundry, cooking and running errands, yet your house is filthy, the hamper's full, everyone's hungry and the to-do list is a mile long. (from my own self)
That's about it for now. Please feel free to add your own gems! And have a relaxing night....
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Goals for the Week
Aside from the obvious swimming out of the depths of despair from sending my eldest to the wolves, I have several goals this week. They are as follows:
1. To survive the Georgetown State of the Town meeting without a) dozing off, b) obvious eye-rolling or c) indulging in inappropriate fantasies.
2. To provoke the new person of legend in Newburyport, the Starbucks Witch, into yelling at me and/or my children so I can get some good material for my next column. She apparently feels it's appropriate to shout the "f" word at mothers who dare to bring their tots into Starbucks to purchase caffeinated beverages and calls all Newburyport-area children entitled brats. Doesn't she know that without the caffeine, we'd not have the energy to discipline the kids at all? The show should be a good one!
3. To also survive a school committee meeting without any of the above (see #1).
4. To finally let go of the money the lady owes me and throw away my rose colored glasses. Also to stop obsessively checking PayPal to see if she had a change of heart.....
1. To survive the Georgetown State of the Town meeting without a) dozing off, b) obvious eye-rolling or c) indulging in inappropriate fantasies.
2. To provoke the new person of legend in Newburyport, the Starbucks Witch, into yelling at me and/or my children so I can get some good material for my next column. She apparently feels it's appropriate to shout the "f" word at mothers who dare to bring their tots into Starbucks to purchase caffeinated beverages and calls all Newburyport-area children entitled brats. Doesn't she know that without the caffeine, we'd not have the energy to discipline the kids at all? The show should be a good one!
3. To also survive a school committee meeting without any of the above (see #1).
4. To finally let go of the money the lady owes me and throw away my rose colored glasses. Also to stop obsessively checking PayPal to see if she had a change of heart.....
5. To attempt a detox from Facebook and clean my house instead.
I'll let you know if I succeed!
I'll let you know if I succeed!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Am I Still an Educational Anarchist?
I have admitted defeat and enrolled my daughter in Evil Public School, to start Monday. I do believe I have chosen the best school in the area and went through all the choice paperwork to get her in. I am still suspect of what goes on in public schools, especially after working in them for several years. But I met Anna's teacher and the children were so lovely to her when we visited - I can't help but think that, even if we return to homeschooling in the future, it will be a decent experience for her. The teacher she has been assigned has a master's in working with gifted children, and is very open to allowing her to be her veryownself. So we'll see.
My boys will still be home with me, having just turned 5 and not eligible for K until the fall. So I guess for now I am still homeschooling them, as much as one can with crazy boys intent on mass destruction.
I have a feeling I will still be an anarchist deep down and continue to question everything she is required to do. And Monday will be the hardest day as I drop that precious girl off in the morning. I anticipate many tears (me, not her) and a melancholy that I don't expect will dissipate any time soon.
My boys will still be home with me, having just turned 5 and not eligible for K until the fall. So I guess for now I am still homeschooling them, as much as one can with crazy boys intent on mass destruction.
I have a feeling I will still be an anarchist deep down and continue to question everything she is required to do. And Monday will be the hardest day as I drop that precious girl off in the morning. I anticipate many tears (me, not her) and a melancholy that I don't expect will dissipate any time soon.
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